OCD: Aspergers' ugly cousin

Obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD is a mental illness with which I am intimately acquainted. I was diagnosed with it when I was 13 and it was a major part of my life until I was 18. Before I even knew about Aspergers I had studied OCD in my psychology A-levels. Coincidentally, it was the years of therapy that I received for OCD and depression which enabled me to ace my exams, so I guess there really is a silver lining to every cloud. For anyone unfamiliar with OCD, it involves the sufferer experiencing obsessive thoughts. They attempt to deal with these overpowering feelings by enacting rituals. This can be as simple as repeatedly washing, or as unusual as counting to three out loud and then knocking on a surface three times. It may sound ridiculous, but I assure you that this example can and does happen. The nature of the ritual revolves around the obsessions. My particular obsessions were cleanliness, which is quite common amongst OCD sufferers. I was petrified of being sick and would go to any lengths to avoid it. I wouldn’t eat meat for a while, washed my hands so often that I suffered from chemical burns and cleaned all surfaces that I might touch with disinfectant. Any time anyone in the family even got the sniffles, I went into overdrive.

I knew my fears were irrational and I loathed washing my hands, and yet I was absolutely compelled to do it. The best was I can describe it is for you to try holding your breath for a while. Feeling the need to breathe yet, that overwhelming urge to fill your lungs with air? Well that’s what it feels like when those obsessive thoughts creep into your head, only instead of breathing, you enact your ritual. It took many years of therapy for me to finally beat OCD and I’m not going to pretend that it was easy. However, the sense of relief when I finally did was enormous; greater even than enacting my rituals when I was still ill. I still like to keep clean, but it is no longer obsessive.

Many Aspies suffer at some point in their life from OCD. Our obsessive nature makes us especially susceptible to it. There is little to stop a special interest from becoming an obsession that absolutely dominates your life. It is important to be aware of this and to watch for the first signs of OCD and to seek help if you believe you are in trouble. Aspergers may not be an illness or be curable, but OCD is. What’s more it is highly destructive. Know your enemy and you will be stronger for it.

For more detailed information on OCD as well as symptoms, I would recommend starting here:

http://www.ocduk.org/1/ocd.htm