An Aspie Abroad

It has been bad enough not being able to post due to a lack of time, but for the next three weeks I will not be able to post at all. I am finally going on holiday, having got extra time off due to my extra hard work over the last two months. But wait I hear you say, haven’t I continually stated my dislike/phobia of travel? Well, yes, that is true. However, the place that I am going to in the Mediterranean has a very special place in my heart, and I also have a soft spot for the Mediterranean as a whole. Plus, my entire family are taking time off from work/university to go, so I will have lots of moral support. The flights still scare me though. I wouldn’t say that I have a fear of flying; I just experience a lot of unease when taking off and landing. Which seems perfectly natural, to be honest. I don’t completely understand the physics of flight and that moment when the pilot puts it into full throttle just before take-off just feels wrong. Despite it usually being an early morning flight, my brother and I usually have a breakfast Guinness before the flight (it’s medicinal! On a side note Guinness seems to taste really good early in the morning, I think it’s something to do with your taste buds and them not really being fully awake. I am not an alcoholic, honest, it’s an annual tradition). I also take a valerian capsule before I leave home which seems to suppress the nervous system and take the edge off of my anxieties.

Packing always seems to make me feel more anxious. I guess that that is because it makes it real instead of an idea. When the car pulls away from home I always get the feeling that I’ll never see home again. That for me is the worst part. If I am going to have a panic attack, it is usually then that it happens. Thankfully though, if I am going somewhere that I actually like, then it’s not so bad. Once I am at the airport a sort of acceptance of the inevitable sinks in. My siblings usually provide a good distraction as they know how I feel about the whole thing. When I am there my world shrinks to my immediate surroundings, which is great. I am actually looking forward to having time to read and sleep! Before all of this can take place I have to go to my cousin’s wedding and the party, which is not what I’d call my idea of fun. The actual ceremony will be fine; I just hate fancy dinners. Being an Aspie I find dinner conversation really difficult, not to mention tiring. I think that I will try a new technique to combat the possibility of a panic attack and the resulting nausea: a concoction of cinnamon, ginger and beer. All three are known for their anti-nausea properties, so trying them all at once should be very effective (that is if the concoction doesn’t actually make me sick). I’ll report how it turns out when I get back.

Artistic License?

I am constantly amazed by how much NT’s bend the truth. There have been so many times when have heard the re-telling of an event, which I have myself witnessed, only to find that the details have been altered. It is not an outright lie, it has just been altered a little (or a lot, depending upon who is telling it). If I don’t believe that a story is entertaining enough for general consumption, I will keep it to myself. I just cannot bring myself to lie about things, even little things. It makes me highly uncomfortable. The worst perpetrator seems to be my younger sister, who habitually over-exaggerates, and this actually leads to a lot of conflict between us as if she does this in front of me, then I cannot stand by and let it happen. I know that my correcting her is a little OCD, but from a moral standpoint, it is absolutely right to do so; even if it is not encouraged in certain social situations. I guess that it is something that I will never fully understand…

Ratings

Just added ratings to see what's what. There are only three types at the moment, but I am sure that I will add more when I am suitably inspired. Just curious is all. Mind you, they did say that curiosity killed the cat...

Ruminations Part 1

Well, here I am again. I finally got an afternoon off and thought that I would do some exercise: finger exercise that is. Hey, fingers need a work out too; and typing is hard work. Luckily I am keeping hydrated with a nice mug of Mu tea. I have no idea what is in it and it smells quite funky, but a mug of tea (no matter how funky!) is great for morale. 

                                                                         Tea!!!

After having re-read (for about the 50^th time) ‘:59 seconds’ by Professor Richard Wiseman, especially the chapter on personality, I got to wondering how much my experience in life so far has modified my Aspergers. Not every Aspie is exactly the same (I know that I sometimes use generalisations) and so the differences between us must either be due to minute biological differences (nature) or how we are raised (nurture). Not just between Aspies, but also NT’s. Aspies are very introverted, whilst NT’s are usually extroverts. According to Wiseman introverts brains are very sensitive to stimulation, whilst extroverts’ brains are less sensitive. This would explain why Aspies such as me often feel swamped in apparently mundane situations. Perhaps the differences in our biology have made our brains even more sensitive to stimulus than even the most introverted NT. Robert Winston in ‘The Human Mind’ states that “many of the key elements of our personality are present from birth”(pg. 309 if you are interested).

When you factor in my life experience so far it’s not hard to see that I am irrevocably who I am. My fear/hatred of parties and other similar social situations stems from terrible past experiences which in turn were influenced by my Aspie biology. I cannot like them any more than a cheetah can change its spots. Even if I wanted to change, I could not alter my personality. Winston suggests as much when he states that by the time you leave high school (pg. 309 again), so it is much too late for me.

There is far too much information on the nature vs. nurture debate for me to share in one post, so I will try and gradually post more on it in the future, especially where it is relevant to Aspergers. I also feel that I should stop here as I have run out of tea.