Writer's Block!

Despite finally having some time free to sit down and write something, I don’t think that this will be a long post. I am suffering from what I assume to be writers block. You know the feeling; when you can’t seem to concentrate, when your mind feels fuggy. Words and thoughts are briefly glimpsed in the mist only to dance out of sight again. The weather probably doesn’t help. Currently it is so grey outside that it feels like winter. If I were to listen to my body though, I would guess that I am just tired. Having to work double-time to cover for a missing co-worker tends to do that. Not only that, but due to looming deadlines, I am also having to work twice as hard. I feel exhausted, and the worst part is that he will be off for at least another two weeks. Right now I’m just trying to power through it, but I’ll run out of energy sooner or later.

I am sure that it is something that is common to all Aspies, but daily life is exhausting. We have to put so much effort into things that others can do with ease. Social situations are the worst. I physically could not take more than one party every six months. I actually try to avoid them as much as possible, but there are some that I have to do. Even having an exchange with salespeople is tiring. Social contact requires a great deal of concentration which I just cannot manage when I am tired. Social skills are the first thing that my brain seems to jettison when it struggles. It is probably because I had to learn them from scratch rather than them being innate that they are sacrificed so readily.

Because I tire so quickly it is important that I am able to relax as well as sleep properly. A drink in the evening after work helps (as with everything, moderation is the key). The sight of a nice chilled pint of Guinness is enough to instantly bring down my blood pressure.

                                  

                                                           A beautiful sight to behold!

I have been told by several medical graduates that a person could live healthily on just Guinness and carrots. Apparently between them they contain all of the vitamins and minerals that you need. I certainly feel healthier when I have a Guinness as opposed to lager, ale or even wine (by the way I don’t work for Guinness, nor am I being paid to say this, just in case you are suspicious). As long as I avoid caffeine after 3:00pm, as well as bright light, then I can usually get to sleep. I often wonder if other Aspies suffer from insomnia like I do. At night, I just can’t shut off my thoughts. I go through any social interactions that I have had, worry about money and ponder the meaning of life. So far I have come up with survival being the meaning of life. You survive, you pass on your genes and that’s pretty much what all life is all about. That right there is the product of endless hours spent tossing and turning whilst trying to finally drift off (I guess I at least got something useful out it!). It is only through a strict observation of routine as well as the science behind sleep that I manage to at all.

It basically comes down to these points: avoid caffeine after 3:00pm, don’t drink too much alcohol (contrary to popular belief it doesn’t help, especially in large quantities), don’t use computers after 8:00pm, don’t exercise after 3:00pm, avoid all light (even charger lights) and try having a hot bath or shower just before bed. Sounds incredibly strict, not to mention anal, but as I said, it is the only way that I can get a good night’s sleep. And now when I am absolutely shattered from work, it is vitally important to my mental health, not to mention my blogging abilities!

Dealing with the anxiety of being an Aspie.

One of the major drawbacks of living with Aspergers syndrome is having to deal with the near constant anxiety. If you’ve ever suffered a panic attack then you will have some understanding of what it’s like. The butterflies that you get in your stomach before speaking in public or doing a job interview are almost constant. Social situations can bring about what can only be described as the worst panic attack that a normal individual will ever has, plus some more. There are times when I have seriously fantasised about having my adrenal gland removed (impossible I know, but we all dream).  A major part of my therapy and counselling revolves around trying to manage this constant state of anxiety.  The better part of a decade and a half of such treatments has given me a lot of experience in dealing with my arch nemesis, anxiety. I have also developed my own techniques, which work particularly well for me.

Here are some of the techniques that help to calm me down when things start to get a bit too much:

·         Breathing exercise: take a deep breath in whilst counting to four and then slowly releasing whilst counting to at least ten. This should help to ease the palpitations in your chest. Good for mild anxiety, but not much help in dealing with panic.

·         Go for a walk. Exercise helps reduce stress and can occupy the mind, especially when done on a sunny day in the countryside. This being Britain, sun is something you hear about but don’t often see. Therefore I usually take my mp3 player and listen to some chillout music or metal, depending on how I feel (let me explain; I would rather be angry than anxious or sad, so metal can work a treat). Don’t listen to grunge whilst doing this. Regardless of its artistic merit, it is too depressing to be productive and tends to make you focus on the negatives of your situation. Classical music on the other hand works a treat, just choose something uplifting.

·         Read a book. I personally love reading and this is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress and anxiety, more so than the above two. Just don’t choose something too dark; instead go for something engaging. Essentially you are trying to distract yourself. Once you are appropriately absorbed your heart rate should start to slow and your stomach un-knot, all without you having to put any effort into it.

·         Get crafty. Take up an art or craft. Again this is an effective way to prevent your mind running wild. Do something that interests you and is hard enough that you are challenged, but not so hard that you bash your brains out on a wall.

·         Reduce your alcohol intake. Drinking just masks the problem and can lead to a vicious cycle. Alcohol addiction is a highly unpleasant possibility and can lead to increased anxiety in both the long and short-term. Going teetotal is also not the way forward. Alcohol in moderation can be good for you (red wine etc.) and a glass of wine in the evening can be relaxing. Just don’t think that drinking until you don’t feel anything will cure you. You’d have to be permanently pickled and that will just make things far, far worse.

·         Cut down on the caffeine. Caffeine stimulates the mind, yet it also simulates anxiety. I’m not saying eliminate it completely (although that would be great) just make sure you moderate your intake. I find that good quality green tea helps me feel more alert yet mellow at the same time (loose leaf sencha is my choice) and it has been proven to have many health benefits. Never drink caffeine after 3:00pm as it can affect your sleep.

·         Get a good night’s sleep. There are many great psychology books and websites that are dedicated to the science of sleep which are absolutely worth reading. The effects of sleep deprivation include anxiety and even psychosis (not very nice), so sleeping well is very important to Aspergers sufferers. Essentially you need to develop a good routine before bed, making sure you go to bed at the same time every night (the sleep-wake cycle is a circadian rhythm). Any deviation can break this cycle and lead to insomnia. Make sure you sleep in a pitch black room (any amount of light can prevent the release melatonin, the sleep hormone). Don’t watch TV or play computer games for at least two hours before going to bed; read a book instead.

·         Go herbal. No, I don’t mean marijuana. Like alcohol, weed can just exasperate the problem. In those with a family history of mental illness weed use has been shown to cause psychosis   (if you have Aspergers, then you are even more susceptible). Short term effects include paranoia and anxiety and I think that I can safely say that that would be counterproductive. No, in this instance I mean herbal remedies. You should always seek your doctor’s advice before taking any herbal remedy. Valerian is one herbal remedy that I have found particularly useful as it calms nerves and promotes sleep. Hops is another good one. Camomile is great for relaxing, though not as potent as the previous two. It is almost certainly worth consulting with a herbalist if you think that this is an area worth exploring.

·         Don’t do drugs. Like weed, illegal drugs are illegal for a reason. No, the government doesn’t simply want to spoil everyone’s fun. The negative effects upon the individual and society outweigh any benefits. I know that it’s tempting to make the pain go away even just for half an hour, but trust me, it isn’t. It’s just sweeping the problem under the carpet. The problem is essentially the same as alcohol, only worse. In order to get rid of the anxiety you would have to keep doing them, and then you get hooked. You go there and you’re not coming back.   

This is just a selection of my favourite techniques for reducing stress. There are many more, which I will cover at a later date (cognitive behavioural therapy techniques are pretty good). They are particularly helpful when combined with medication. Try them all and see which works best for you; even if you are not an aspie yourself, after all, everyone gets stressed at some point.