Looking back on 2011

It is apparently traditional social protocol at this time of year to make New Years Resolutions. I however have no time for making absurdly impossible promises to better myself, especially when said promises are dictated by specific time-frames (did you understand that, because looking back I'm not sure that I entirely do. Like a monkey in a dress, it just seems wrong (though nowhere near as hilarious). I think I need some coffee...).

Author sods off to kitchen: spends 2 minutes reading the back of the coffee jar, 5 minutes staring out of the window whilst kettle almost boils itself dry and longer than strictly necessary stirring in the sugar. Ah... procrastination...

OK. I'm back and more importantly I have caffeine. You might think that I am a bit of a pessimist believing that resolutions are a pointless (they are; just look at a list of UN resolutions!), but I consider myself a realist, which I believe is somewhere in the middle of optimism and pessimism. No, I prefer instead to reflect upon what happened the year before and learn from the mistakes I made or the success that I enjoyed. 2011 was a tough year, or at least tougher than 2010; though both were easy compared to 2009. A large part of the trials that I experienced were the result of external events that I could neither predict, nor prevent. I was simply swept along by circumstances beyond my control. However, they did provide me with a great lesson to apply to 2012: enjoy the little things. For example, I can cope with a rough day provided I end up in my own bed at night with a good book or if I can take some time to watch a good film/play a good game. It just means making the best out of a crappy situation. I guess it all comes back the the CBT technique 'Mindfulness'. Here's hoping it will help me in 2012.

Of Mice and Men

If you have been following this blog, then you might be aware that I have not posted much in the last week. Well, a series of unfortunate events at one of my jobs has meant that I am doing more time for them. This is a shame because I had just started my traditional outdoorsy summer job which I make time to do every year. In fact it’s more like therapy than a job. Research has suggested that working outdoors and with the earth is beneficial for your mental health, and getting paid for it is beneficial to your wallet. Don’t tell my boss, but I would actually do it for free if I had to. It’s sod’s law that my other job is indoors, and now that I am doing extra days there, the weather is finally nice. So I’m feeling pretty stressed at the moment as my plans (at least as far as work is concerned) are kind of falling apart.

IT should only be for a week and a half, but I have a nasty feeling that it could be extended. At the end of last week, one of my co-workers lost a couple of fingers. I was there when it happened. Let me tell you now, half a lifetime of playing violent games and watching violent films doesn’t necessarily prepare you for violence in real life. I actually remained calmer than I would have thought, and helped to dress the wound as well as we could with blood spurting everywhere. Luckily I’m not sick at the sight of blood or I could have been cleaning up blood and vomit. I felt a little shocked, though I managed to busy myself with work for the rest of the day. Night however was a different thing. When I finally closed my eyes, all I could see was several bloody stumps. Not what I would call conducive to a good night’s sleep.

All in all it means that we are further behind work than we should be, so I might get asked to do extra time, which I’m dreading. I’m torn between loyalty to the firm and the need to do my other job (which makes me happy). One week’s disruption to my routine is bad enough, but more? What is keeping me going is the knowledge that at the moment it is just a week left. Well that and a terrific Cognitive Behavioural Technique (CBT) called mindfulness. Essentially you have to focus on what you are doing and feeling right now (really similar to meditation in Zen Buddhism) and forget the past and future; concentrate on the moment. It helps a lot in any stressful situations. Hopefully though, I should be back to normal next week. Hopefully.