An Earth-Shattering Announcement!

From the beginning of next year Aspergers will no longer exist, at least in the USA. No, it has not been 'cured'. It will simply be merged into a broader 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder'. Whether this will apply to the UK, Europe or the rest of the world remains to be seen. This is not as big a deal as it would first seem (or my title would imply; sorry about that, it seems that I'm picking up some journalistic habits). Psychologists have for years debated just how different Aspergers as a diagnosis is from Autism in general. The defining line has always been a fairly blurry one and now it will disappear altogether. Which will mean that I will have to probably change the name of this blog and refer to myself as being and ASD. Change, don't you just hate it?

More info on the upcoming change can be found here: http://www.thespec.com/living/healthfitness/article/811063--autism-redefined-as-asperger-s-diagnosis-disappears

A Social Experiment (sort of...)

A couple of months ago I did the previously unthinkable (for me) and finally joined twitter. My initial reasoning was to gain access to another service that required a twitter account. I planned to barely use it. However, as the weeks have gone on I have found myself using it more and more to follow interesting people and organisations. I had no idea that one of my personal heroes, Richard Wiseman would be on there (@RichardWiseman) and naturally he got a follow; as did Bear Grylls (@BearGrylls)

Straight after signing up I was terrified that I would be dragged into new social situations and whilst I still have no doubt that that would be possible, I have kept a fairly low profile. I didn’t tweet for the first few weeks, and then slowly tweeted a bit more as time went on. My profile, initially non-descript has been updated slowly and cautiously, though I will never give my full name.

 I will never be a fully-fledged tweeter, but it has been and continues to be an important social experiment for me. I am in control of how much I metaphorically dip my toe into the pool. When I feel threatened by sudden social advances I can withdraw. I am learning some useful lessons. I have followers and follow people who I correspond with fairly regularly. It gives me the chance to learn about other cultures without the need for anxiety inducing travel or awkward face to face conversations. I use my phone for something other than emergency calls or browsing the web.

Most people wouldn’t see this as a huge change, but for me it has been fairly significant. If it had occurred in 24 hours, it would have caused me a nervous breakdown. But as it has been a slow and steady change over months, it has been manageable. This all confirms my theory that changes in my life are best made slowly and carefully. Oh and I am still never, ever joining Facebook. That is a promise. 

Damn you sickness!

Sorry that I haven't posted for a while (I really should learn to!). I've been busy feeling sorry for myself whilst suffering acute sinusitis. As if that wasn't bad enough I the antibiotics that the quack (doctor) gave me first time around didn't do much except make me feel sick and lose what little appetite I have. Three weeks and a couple of pounds of weight loss later and nothing has changed. So, mentally preparing myself for round two of almost constant nausea, I went in to see them again.
The result? a stronger dose of antibiotics and Sudafed. As if feeling nauseous wasn't bad enough on its own, the Sudafed apparently has Insomnia and anxiety as two common side effects; three side effects in total that are guaranteed to make the next 2 to 3 weeks a misery... Bugger... 

Back to the Real World

You'd think that three weeks is a long time. To answer my own question somewhat pedantically, I'd say that it depends on what you are referring to. Three weeks would seem like an age if you had a crippling headache the whole time (more on this later; it is relevant I promise you!). But a three week holiday feels like no time at all. It is however enough time to let my brain turn to mush and to become unbearably lazy; in which case I would say that the whole experience has been a success. I met some new people, some of whom I genuinely liked and I got to know some family friends a little better. Although I was worried about the first week with my brother not being there, it turned out to be the best (I haven't learnt anything from this though!). I found a new favourite Weissbier: Fransiskaner Dunkel. I've grown a beard I (I am still considering whether or not to get rid of it). I read a ton of books, finally catching up on a lot of science fiction that I have been meaning to read all year. Those are the good things to come out of this holiday. The bad thing is that somehow I have developed a sinus infection and have had to go on antibiotics as soon as I got bad (that was the source of the three week headache).
However even that could not detract from the experience and I would say that this year was better than last. Coming back on the plane experienced a moments utter serenity as I gazed at the sight of the setting sun over the Mediterranean Sea, the glowing reflection that it cast along the rivers of Aquitaine and Poitou-Charentes and finally the delicate silver clouds floating lazily over the night-time landscape of Britain. Moments of peace such as these do not come along very often for me, be when they do I allow myself to be fully absorbed by them. I guess that since they are so rare, I feel them more than I should. Still, now that I am back in the real world I really need to get my body and mind back up to speed, which means working out to get fit and catching up on some of the latest developments in my SI's and drinking large quantities of caffeine... again.

Aspergers and Tolerance

Aspie's have something of a bad reputation when it comes to tolerance for others. Sadly and I can say this from personal experience (both of myself and other Aspies that I have met) that this is somewhat deserved. Truthfully (and I'm not proud to admit this) I have very little time for people who don't interest me, luckily though people generally do. I don't suffer fools lightly and this sometimes makes me come across as arrogant. It is one of the reasons I do not get along very well with my younger sister. Her concerns often seem trivia. She quite often comes out with ridiculously stupid logic, especially when she is angry (her dog ran away chasing a rabbit so "someone else should shoot all of the rabbits to stop it happening again" was one of her finer moments). As I said, we Aspies can be very intolerant.
However, in many ways we are far more tolerant of some things than NT's. Take for example racism and xenophobia. I don't judge people on their race or where they come from because such factors mean nothing to me when meeting people. If anything it just makes them interesting. Many of my fellow Brits seem to distrust the Argentinians because of the Falklands conflict. This I don't understand. Surely it is a dispute between our two governments not between all Brits and all Argentinians. The same goes for the IRA. I don't dislike all Irish people because of the actions of a small minority as some seem to. If I have a problem with another country's foreign policy I blame the government not the people. To paint everyone in the same colour seems like madness. The same goes for the different religions, classes, education etc. When I meet people I judge them as individuals, something that seems to be common amongst Aspies.

Keeping Calm

I must confess that for the last week I have been quietly fighting a sense of panic that threatens to turn into a full blown panic attack. What is causing this? Sadly I have no idea. I have been doing a lot of internalisation, trying to figure out the root of it, but without luck. It seems like the smallest incidences set off these feelings of anxiety, the likes of which I usually only experience before an important social event. Writing down my musing on the subject should help me to externalise possible causes and therefore examine them in more detail.
The most likely source of anxiety that I can think of is that in about a weeks time I will be going on holiday with my parents and youngest brother. I usually feel a little anxious before the annual holiday (or indeed travel of any kind) but never normally this bad or for this long. It probably doesn't help that my other younger brother (K) isn't coming for the first (and most important due to social duties) week. Whilst I love all of my brothers, K is probably the one that I am closest to. He knows me better than anyone else in the family and I share more of my problems with him than I do my parents. He also keeps me calm for reasons that I do not fully understand though I suspect that it is due to a shared humour, his knowledge about me, and the fact that he is a extrovert and so helps me through social situations. He won't be there for only one week, so that shouldn't be the source of all off this nervous energy.
The first time I noticed that I was more tightly strung than usual was when somebody who I don't know well enough asked me for some contact details. That always causes me to have a mini panic attack, but that was about a week ago and it shouldn't last this long. Besides, in this particular incidence I wasn't too bothered about possibly giving them due to their limited nature (they don't breach too many 'compartments' in my compartmentalised world).
It could be the lack of sunlight and the generally gloomy weather that we have been having in the UK that is negatively affecting my mood and hormone production. Sunlight has been proven to have a large impact on human health and during the winter months people can suffer from the ironically named SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder. It could be that, but I have been using a SAD light on the grimmest days.
Another possibility is diet, but I have been eating very healthily with most food groups covered in my diet and  missing no major vitamins or minerals. I have also started taking vitamin B complex in an effort to boost my energy levels and mood; though the science is sketchy at best about the extent to which this can help.
The future seems no more terrifying than it usually is. I am fairly secure in my job as work seems to be picking up again after a long quiet spell. I am being given an increasing amount of responsibility, but that causes a good kind of stress at being challenged. There has been no change in my (lack of) any kind of marital/relationship status, which would be the stress equivalent of a supernova, so everything is peaceful on that front.  
I have been sleeping better than usual for this time of year due to the cooler temperatures at night and the fact that I bought a fan to keep me cool, so it cannot be due to a lack of sleep. It could be partly due to me being a little exhausted by work, which is why I am kind of looking forward to the holiday.
It could quite easily be a combination of all of these factors that is making me so highly strung. I haven't really had time to metaphorically 'sit down and take stock'. I guess that I should try to get back to the basics of my life and focus on the things that bring me an almost primeval sense of comfort, for example bushcraft or one of my SI's. Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.

Valarian: a Case Study

Of all of the herbal remedies that can help to manage anxiety and nervous exhaustion, Valarian or Valeriana officinalis, is definitely one of the more effective that I have come across. It grows wild throughout the UK, Asia and most of North America. It has been used in herbal medicine since at least the time of Hippocrates in the fourth century BC. The famous ancient Greek botanist Dioscorides believed that it was an excellent diuretic as well as being useful in warming the body. During medieval times the herb took on almost mythical properties and was often referred to by the name of "all-heal"; Nicholas Culpeper even went so far as to pronounce it as a cure for the plague. 

I seriously doubt that Valerian does cure everything (especially the plague!) but I do know that it promotes sleep and helps to reduce anxiety; something that Culpeper curiously fails to mention. It seems to affect some people more than others, though scientific research has proven its usefulness in treating mild insomnia. It is two groups of chemical compounds in particular that are the focus of efforts to understand the exact mechanisms through which Valerian works: valeric acid and valepotriates. 
It is the roots of the plant that are used and can be taken either as a tincture or tea. Many health stores also sell valerian capsules which are certainly the safer than preparing it yourself. An overdose of Valerian would be fatal so extra care must be taken when using it. It can also be mistaken for Red Valerian or Centranthus Ruber, which is not actually part of the same species (although it does have similar medicinal properties according to Jekka McVicar) and it toxic at much smaller doses (I have had the unfortunate effect of taking slightly too much and being poisoned. Not seriously but still not pleasant.). 
Although Valerian affects the same set of receptors (GABA_A) as benzodiazepines, they are not thought to be addictive or reactant to alcohol. For the best effect I would recommend taking it for short periods of time as I find that the effects lessen with prolonged usage and for a great nights sleep dissolve the contents of a capsule into Camomile tea. Oh, and for goodness sake consult a doctor or trained herbal medicinist before taking it, just to be safe! A word of warning about the smell too. Some people think that it smells like leather, others that it smells like wet dog. You decide, but don't say that I didn't warn you.


For more info I'd recommend:
Jekka McVicar, Jekka's Complete Herb Book (London, 2007).
Steven Foster and Rebecca L. Johnson, National Geographic Desk Reference to Nature's Medicine (Washington, 2006)  Probably the most informative book on herbal medicine.
Nicholas Culpeper, Culpeper's Complete Herbal (2009 ed.) (London, 2009).