Despite finally having some time free to sit down and write something, I don’t think that this will be a long post. I am suffering from what I assume to be writers block. You know the feeling; when you can’t seem to concentrate, when your mind feels fuggy. Words and thoughts are briefly glimpsed in the mist only to dance out of sight again. The weather probably doesn’t help. Currently it is so grey outside that it feels like winter. If I were to listen to my body though, I would guess that I am just tired. Having to work double-time to cover for a missing co-worker tends to do that. Not only that, but due to looming deadlines, I am also having to work twice as hard. I feel exhausted, and the worst part is that he will be off for at least another two weeks. Right now I’m just trying to power through it, but I’ll run out of energy sooner or later.
I am sure that it is something that is common to all Aspies, but daily life is exhausting. We have to put so much effort into things that others can do with ease. Social situations are the worst. I physically could not take more than one party every six months. I actually try to avoid them as much as possible, but there are some that I have to do. Even having an exchange with salespeople is tiring. Social contact requires a great deal of concentration which I just cannot manage when I am tired. Social skills are the first thing that my brain seems to jettison when it struggles. It is probably because I had to learn them from scratch rather than them being innate that they are sacrificed so readily.
Because I tire so quickly it is important that I am able to relax as well as sleep properly. A drink in the evening after work helps (as with everything, moderation is the key). The sight of a nice chilled pint of Guinness is enough to instantly bring down my blood pressure.
A beautiful sight to behold!
I have been told by several medical graduates that a person could live healthily on just Guinness and carrots. Apparently between them they contain all of the vitamins and minerals that you need. I certainly feel healthier when I have a Guinness as opposed to lager, ale or even wine (by the way I don’t work for Guinness, nor am I being paid to say this, just in case you are suspicious). As long as I avoid caffeine after 3:00pm, as well as bright light, then I can usually get to sleep. I often wonder if other Aspies suffer from insomnia like I do. At night, I just can’t shut off my thoughts. I go through any social interactions that I have had, worry about money and ponder the meaning of life. So far I have come up with survival being the meaning of life. You survive, you pass on your genes and that’s pretty much what all life is all about. That right there is the product of endless hours spent tossing and turning whilst trying to finally drift off (I guess I at least got something useful out it!). It is only through a strict observation of routine as well as the science behind sleep that I manage to at all.
It basically comes down to these points: avoid caffeine after 3:00pm, don’t drink too much alcohol (contrary to popular belief it doesn’t help, especially in large quantities), don’t use computers after 8:00pm, don’t exercise after 3:00pm, avoid all light (even charger lights) and try having a hot bath or shower just before bed. Sounds incredibly strict, not to mention anal, but as I said, it is the only way that I can get a good night’s sleep. And now when I am absolutely shattered from work, it is vitally important to my mental health, not to mention my blogging abilities!
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