Dealing with the diagnosis.

I can still remember when I got diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. I had been receiving counselling and therapy since I was 13 for various problems including depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).  It turned out later that these are disorders that affect many Aspies, but I did not know it at the time. By the time I was eventually diagnosed with Aspergers I was nearly 19 and had just finished my A levels. It started off as just a normal session with me hunched over on an uncomfortable plastic chair, staring at the tiled carpet. The room was quite dim, which I guess helped to calm down patients. My parents were waiting outside, as they had been asked to come. Dr G (not his real name) and Dr K (again no indication of their real name) were sat opposite me. We had just been discussing ways to control my OCD, when Dr A asked if I would let my parents come in. I agreed and awkwardly got up to call them in. Moments later we were all seated in a semi-circle, with me sandwiched between my mum and dad. Suddenly Dr A dropped a bomb. “I have discussed it with Dr K, and we believe that your son is on the autistic spectrum; more specifically that he has what is called Aspergers syndrome”.

                Alarm bells went off in my head. What the hell is that! Can I chalk that up as yet another mental illness that I am suffering from? Great, one more problem to deal with! That is how my thinking went. Dr G continued to give a description of Aspergers. As he did I got the weird feeling that I was looking at a description of myself. Everything started to make sense! Finally I knew what was wrong with me; why I was different to other people. Maybe there is a cure I thought. Turns out that there isn’t one, but do you know what? I really don’t care about that. My problems weren’t down to past experiences or weakness. I had a neurobiological difference to normal people; something that was not technically a mental illness. I am just different.

                The months that followed saw me reading up as much as I could on Aspergers. What started off as a cloud over my existence lifted as I began to understand it. To me knowledge was the key to living with Aspergers; the key from turning a curse into a mixed blessing. The key to making the best of my situation and finding happiness in my life. It still is, and it is the first thing that I would recommend to anyone recently diagnosed. Think of Aspergers as a mixed blessing. Sure, there are bad parts, but there are also benefits that are a gift. The ability to focus absolutely on a subject or topic that fascinates you and that you derive absolute joy from is one. Another is taking solace in solitude; you don’t need to constantly be around others. Focusing on the positives is great, but you also have to understand and accept your weaknesses. They are just as important, if not more so, than your strengths. Change and social situations are two of the biggest weaknesses that an Aspie will face. They will never be overcome completely, but that’s OK. They don’t need to be. You just need to find a way to live with them. You don’t have to be normal; you can embrace your differences. The key to dealing with the diagnosis is firstly to know your enemy i.e. and then to accept your weaknesses. Then as you learn more and more you can start to make the best of your life and even excel at it.