Brothers and Sisters

Social relationships are not something which comes easily to Aspies. Although we experience fewer difficulties in our relationships with our siblings, there can still be problems. This is especially true when neither the Aspie nor the sibling understand Aspergers. Aspies love rules and often have a strong sense of morality. This can be a good thing, but when we try to apply it to others it comes across as being bossy or controlling and lead to tension. Though much less now, this can still cause me problems. Importantly for me, my siblings know a lot about Asperger s syndrome and how it manifests itself and therefore they know how to deal with any of my quirks. They are able to be flexible when I cannot and can point me in the right direction gently when I make mistakes.

I have a few friends outside of the family, but almost all of my support comes from within. It’s not just me either, as most Aspies rely on their families for the vast majority of their care and support. To me, my siblings provide a secure base from which I can periodically sally into the wider world and return to when things become too much. I know that my relationship with them is stronger than all others (save my parents). To normal people, this may seem to be quite ‘sad’ or they might think of me as being lonely without a lot of friends. However, Aspies cannot handle large social groups, and will probably never be able to do so. The loner is a tag that often gets applied to us and whilst true, it is unfair to use it in a derogatory way. I am constantly aware of that tag constantly being applied to violent criminals, I mean how often do you hear the words, “the gunman, describe as a loner by neighbours…”. What worries me is that people will associate being a loner with being creepy or dangerous and that would lead to Aspies being unfairly stigmatised.

With regards to being lonely, everyone in the world feels lonely in some way. I on the other hand am content to have just a few friends as I have my siblings as my closest friends. I don’t need or want any more.