Overcoming neurological limitations

One of the most noticeable ‘symptoms’ of Aspergers is an almost total inability to spot and translate body language. As a teenager I had absolutely no idea about it and it got me into trouble when social situations required it. I had a crush on a girl at school and could not see that she wasn’t interested. It didn’t lead to charges of harassment or anything like that, but looking back, I can now see that she was uncomfortable around me. For that, I am truly sorry. When I was later diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, I finally realised just how bad at reading other people I was and that it presented me with a serious disadvantage in life. Looking back at incidents like the one above did lead to me swearing that I would do my best to be at least as good as NT men at reading body language. 

I started by asking my mum to explain how it was done and picked up a few pointers. However, I needed more than just a few tips; I wanted a life skill. So I scoured the internet for the best books on body language. Having read reviews on more than a dozen, I finally decided to buy five or six for some serious reviewing of my own. In the end, one in particular stood out: ‘The Definitive Book of Body Language’ by Alan and Barbara Pease. It was the most clear and concise out of all of the books that I read through and is still something of a bible to me that I occasionally flick through to refresh my memory. In absorbing the lessons, my Aspergers actually proved quite useful. As I have said before, I was aware of my complete lack of skill in the subject and that gave me the drive to really work at it. As it was an area I found especially interesting, it became one of my SI’s. 

After many years of practice and observation I am pleased to say that I am actually better at reading body language than about 95% of the male population. That is not too hard as most of us blokes are pretty useless at it anyway. But a bloke with Aspergers is practically comatose. In fact, according to psychological tests that I have participated in, I am actually better at reading body signals that 60% of women. I am not boasting about it; I am just trying to show that we Aspies can overcome our limitations to such an extent that they become strengths. It was never a natural skill due to neurological differences between Aspies and NT’s, but due to practice, it has become almost natural. It really is an area where practice does make perfect. I would absolutely recommend that every Aspie try to learn about body language, because without it we face a serious disadvantage in the world.