My first post.

Well, here it is, the moment when fingure meets keyboard and I begin this weird and slightly unnerving pastime. It will be OK in the end I guess. At least it is not a face to face discussion. Social interaction has always been difficult for me. My family would be forgiven for thinking that my aspergers has gotten worse with age. It hasn't; it has stayed the same. As I have grown up the social situations have become more intense and complicated. Adults are expected to do things like paying bills, taking out loans, developing serious relationships, dealing with companies, employers, employees, etc. that kids just don't. Also, as a child, if you are slightly quirky, no one really notices, yet as an adult you are expected to live a certain life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about an inability to follow rules (as an aspie I love rules and regulations). However, you are expected to be normal, that is move out of your parents house, develop a million social contacts deemed friends (technically people usually have under a hundred social contacts who could really be called friends, but claim they have so many more), develop an intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex (or even the same sex) and develop an active career.
And me? I would die if my parents told me to move out (I am lucky to have the parents that I do). That's not even an over exaggeration, I really would not be able to cope and no, I could not learn how to, my brain just isn't wired that way. It would be like living without a digestive tract. I have acute social anxiety and again it's how I was born. However I am perfectly happy being by myself. The above of course preclude me from say becoming a lawyer or banker and moving to the city. Again, I couldn't care less. I have accepted who I am and my limitations. I have ambition that is tampered by realism. I have tried to be ambitious several times in my life and it almost killed me. In accepting my limitations I am finally starting to be happy. I like thinking differently. This is who I am.